friendly reminder that one time i was watching one of my friends play amnesia: the dark descent and i got too scared so i turned off the music and started playing backstreet boys instead and the song “everybody” came on and at the line “backstreet’s back ALL RIGHT” the monster buSTED THROUGH THE DOOR AND I SCREAMED LIKE A 2-YEAR-OLD
*slides $10 to the government* please cancel school
when zanessa broke up i stopped believing in true love
when someone you dont like texts you about their problems
The best part about being in a relationship is getting to wake up to the sound of your lover whispering beautiful things into your ear with their butt. They weren’t really whispering at all. They were just carefully farting onto your head. They don’t love you, but they just love using your head holes as fart catchers. That’s what relationships are really about and if you don’t think so, then you have obviously never been in a real relationship.
'romeo and juliet but with gnomes instead of people with music by elton john' isnt a movie that you'd think exists but it does